The darkroom is a good place to hide out, the darkness, the small amount of room, but i never knew that would happen...
ha, anyways...
today has been..different none the less.
I also managed to finally see a doctor about my chest/back problems, as she pushed against the bones and sternum (spelling???) it hurt, so she gave me some extra strong pain killers. OH HOW EXCITING?! nor could she tell me what was wrong, I could have a fractured rib here, even thought there isn't really much you can do about broken and cracked ribs it would be nice to know..
hey ho.
Its raining outside, and right now I am sat here, contemplating...whilst listening to sigur ros similar artists, I have such an urge to go outside and just lay down on the drive way and feel the rain on me, but me being me I don't want to get my hair wet... :)
I can't stop thinking, about things, i hate being in a thinking mood.
Its nearly 9pm and I am so bored, lie in tomorrow though!
Time for me to get on with my website, also..I keep having wedding dreams !!
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Floral paper
I love it, its so pretty :)
Thought this blog was in need of an update...
I am off to Bournemouth again on Wed for Uni, I dont know how this year could go...it could go wonderfully great and I manage to get good results, save up money, make better friendships with people, or the complete opposite.
I need to make an effort anyways, the amount im in debt already :|
The few thoughts currently in my mind are money...I cannot wait til I get my loan! things will be a little easier then, the way the next year will go, my new housemates - whats this going to be like?, whether I am going to stay friends with the same people and things...and then what will happen in May. Oh its all quite exciting isnt it, but scary.
I know a lovely boy whom feels the same here, because we are both talking about it - It will all end up okay :) through the struggle and everything, it usually does :)
The main thing I want to gain whilst im back in Bournemouth is better friendship, yeah I had friends in Bournemouth, but a majority of them were more 'acquaintances' and I couldn't just ring them and ask if they wanted to meet up and do something, or just go over and see them...It would be strange, and out of the blue.
No matter how many up and down's you have things work out, for the better or for the worse, it happens and its your choice which road to take. I belive in trying to deal with everything the best you can, and if thats not good dont put yourself down because of it, there is that fine line where you can overstep frequently...if things get on top of you and you need to sort something you either do too much or too little, Its so hard to find that good in between.
I tell myself on a weekly basis 'just keep trying, dont give up' because I so nearly gave up on Uni recently, again. I want to be able to tackle something I find hard once in my life..not give up. giving up is the easy way out! I know this year is going to be hard, tough, and stressful, but I also know im going to have some really good unforgettable times too. Treat yourself a little I say :)
And if you do need help, ask...at the end of the day we are only human and don't have the mind of a machine! I don't know if any of this made any sense, because I cba to read through it, so good luck with attempting to read this :)
Thought this blog was in need of an update...
I am off to Bournemouth again on Wed for Uni, I dont know how this year could go...it could go wonderfully great and I manage to get good results, save up money, make better friendships with people, or the complete opposite.
I need to make an effort anyways, the amount im in debt already :|
The few thoughts currently in my mind are money...I cannot wait til I get my loan! things will be a little easier then, the way the next year will go, my new housemates - whats this going to be like?, whether I am going to stay friends with the same people and things...and then what will happen in May. Oh its all quite exciting isnt it, but scary.
I know a lovely boy whom feels the same here, because we are both talking about it - It will all end up okay :) through the struggle and everything, it usually does :)
The main thing I want to gain whilst im back in Bournemouth is better friendship, yeah I had friends in Bournemouth, but a majority of them were more 'acquaintances' and I couldn't just ring them and ask if they wanted to meet up and do something, or just go over and see them...It would be strange, and out of the blue.
No matter how many up and down's you have things work out, for the better or for the worse, it happens and its your choice which road to take. I belive in trying to deal with everything the best you can, and if thats not good dont put yourself down because of it, there is that fine line where you can overstep frequently...if things get on top of you and you need to sort something you either do too much or too little, Its so hard to find that good in between.
I tell myself on a weekly basis 'just keep trying, dont give up' because I so nearly gave up on Uni recently, again. I want to be able to tackle something I find hard once in my life..not give up. giving up is the easy way out! I know this year is going to be hard, tough, and stressful, but I also know im going to have some really good unforgettable times too. Treat yourself a little I say :)
And if you do need help, ask...at the end of the day we are only human and don't have the mind of a machine! I don't know if any of this made any sense, because I cba to read through it, so good luck with attempting to read this :)
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Treasure
Some people want gold, some people want money, some people want the whole world. Do you know what I want? To always be happy.
And sorry guys and girls but you cannot buy happiness, people who tell you you can, they lie. yes they can buy you things that can make you happy (ie...a house, an animal, a peice of clothing) but they cannot buy you the emotion in a jar.
So what makes you happy?
Is it life goals? your designer clothing? your relationships with people?
Do people forget those little things which may go unrecognised until someone points them out?
Have you forgotten the feeling when you walk somewhere at night time, when the street lights are on, and no one is around, and you cannot hear a thing, whether it lasts 10 minutes, or a few seconds...do you capture that time and think wow...
The smell after it rains, do you ever close your eyes and smell it?
When you see other people smiling and laughing does it make you feel good inside?
Little things like this are the easiest way to have eternal happiness, you have to try and capture these little moments as soon as you see them, then once you come across them you will remmeber the feeling you first had. Bliss? quiet? hope? love?
These things may be forgotten by most people who have 'more important things to think about' but they are still here and at least there are still some people which appreciate little things like that.
Enjoy what you have, enjoy having your sight, enjoy being able to taste things... :D
I find it strange when people ask me why im always so happy, now you know!
My treasure is pretty simple really :)
And sorry guys and girls but you cannot buy happiness, people who tell you you can, they lie. yes they can buy you things that can make you happy (ie...a house, an animal, a peice of clothing) but they cannot buy you the emotion in a jar.
So what makes you happy?
Is it life goals? your designer clothing? your relationships with people?
Do people forget those little things which may go unrecognised until someone points them out?
Have you forgotten the feeling when you walk somewhere at night time, when the street lights are on, and no one is around, and you cannot hear a thing, whether it lasts 10 minutes, or a few seconds...do you capture that time and think wow...
The smell after it rains, do you ever close your eyes and smell it?
When you see other people smiling and laughing does it make you feel good inside?
Little things like this are the easiest way to have eternal happiness, you have to try and capture these little moments as soon as you see them, then once you come across them you will remmeber the feeling you first had. Bliss? quiet? hope? love?
These things may be forgotten by most people who have 'more important things to think about' but they are still here and at least there are still some people which appreciate little things like that.
Enjoy what you have, enjoy having your sight, enjoy being able to taste things... :D
I find it strange when people ask me why im always so happy, now you know!
My treasure is pretty simple really :)
Saturday, 29 August 2009
Are you strong enough to be my man?
la la la, don't you just love a little bit of Sheryl Crow...me a little too much since it has been on repeat since I came home at 5pm...
haha oh my.
today was dreaful! I was expecting to finish work around 2pm, I got given 4 houses to do, beds in two..7 beds, horrible!
then I didn't finish until 4 or so due to some waiting around and things in between properties. Oh well.
I have also done my back in again, sure hope it gets better, Chiropractor is expensiveeee :o last time it did help though. I am laying on my bed at the moment, trying to watch some clips on youtube but my internet is going terribly slow.
ALSO, hello joints like a 60 year old..!!
Ree was laughing at me recently when I knelt down and my attempt to get back on my feet was horrific, haha. I made the 'uhhmmmmhghh' noise you make when something is hard to do/hurts, I had to grab a hold of something and pull myself up! I have been like this since I stopped horse riding, Im thinking some vegetarian cod liver oil stuff to help me... yes
I am going to go now, Ree told me i should update this, so wahey, there you do :D
haha oh my.
today was dreaful! I was expecting to finish work around 2pm, I got given 4 houses to do, beds in two..7 beds, horrible!
then I didn't finish until 4 or so due to some waiting around and things in between properties. Oh well.
I have also done my back in again, sure hope it gets better, Chiropractor is expensiveeee :o last time it did help though. I am laying on my bed at the moment, trying to watch some clips on youtube but my internet is going terribly slow.
ALSO, hello joints like a 60 year old..!!
Ree was laughing at me recently when I knelt down and my attempt to get back on my feet was horrific, haha. I made the 'uhhmmmmhghh' noise you make when something is hard to do/hurts, I had to grab a hold of something and pull myself up! I have been like this since I stopped horse riding, Im thinking some vegetarian cod liver oil stuff to help me... yes
I am going to go now, Ree told me i should update this, so wahey, there you do :D
Friday, 28 August 2009
neigh
Yes I do, my friend mentioned yesterday 'how are you going to find the time to have a horse, work and have a social life' and I have figured it out.
7am - wake up, straight to field, feed, water etc.
8am - get ready for work
9am - work
5pm - finish work, cup of tea, go field
5.30pm - groom, ride/school, quick tidy up, cool down, feed
7pm - home, dinner, research (equine short course/general stuff) own time, see a friend or go out
11pm - sleep
If we didn't have to sleep it would be okay :D
I want sundays off to which would be used to have a proper clean at home + field, nice long ride, see family and have the whole evening doing nothing. haha, oh I want this life style now, not in a few months / in 8 months time! - depending whether I get into second year or not.
See this is why I am keeping back up plans, i write things down for everything.
Oh and I also realized working 9-5 six days a week is 48 hours which is quite alot...so maybe have another day off...that would be better, haha.
Ideally I am looking for a youngster that I can train...yes I can easily buy a horse for a grand that is around 10 years old and done a bit of everything, but I would love to be able to train my horse to be able to jump, do dressage and be a good all rounder. I have trained my 4 year old TB, she was backed but that was it, it took months to get her used to traffic, people, and being ridden but after a while she could happily hack out alone, walk over and around 'spooky' objects & jump quite nice. I only had her for about a year before she was put down due to a very broken leg :( she was skinny and crazy when I bought her home, then the last time I saw her she was a nice size, shiny coat, and calm...even when she was in so much pain, bless her.
BUT as I was saying...ideally a mare, just incase I want to breed her at any time. So if I manage to find myself a lovely filly/young mare that will reach 16-17hh would be perfect :D I have seen a few, one I saved to my bookmarks, absolutly gorgeous colt, han x shire for 850 :o
Ohhh I can dream (:
I am listening to some french music ( again ) and I am in a proper country mood, probably down to me watching horse movies today and last night, haw haw.
TIME FOR MORE BROWSING!
7am - wake up, straight to field, feed, water etc.
8am - get ready for work
9am - work
5pm - finish work, cup of tea, go field
5.30pm - groom, ride/school, quick tidy up, cool down, feed
7pm - home, dinner, research (equine short course/general stuff) own time, see a friend or go out
11pm - sleep
If we didn't have to sleep it would be okay :D
I want sundays off to which would be used to have a proper clean at home + field, nice long ride, see family and have the whole evening doing nothing. haha, oh I want this life style now, not in a few months / in 8 months time! - depending whether I get into second year or not.
See this is why I am keeping back up plans, i write things down for everything.
Oh and I also realized working 9-5 six days a week is 48 hours which is quite alot...so maybe have another day off...that would be better, haha.
Ideally I am looking for a youngster that I can train...yes I can easily buy a horse for a grand that is around 10 years old and done a bit of everything, but I would love to be able to train my horse to be able to jump, do dressage and be a good all rounder. I have trained my 4 year old TB, she was backed but that was it, it took months to get her used to traffic, people, and being ridden but after a while she could happily hack out alone, walk over and around 'spooky' objects & jump quite nice. I only had her for about a year before she was put down due to a very broken leg :( she was skinny and crazy when I bought her home, then the last time I saw her she was a nice size, shiny coat, and calm...even when she was in so much pain, bless her.
BUT as I was saying...ideally a mare, just incase I want to breed her at any time. So if I manage to find myself a lovely filly/young mare that will reach 16-17hh would be perfect :D I have seen a few, one I saved to my bookmarks, absolutly gorgeous colt, han x shire for 850 :o
Ohhh I can dream (:
I am listening to some french music ( again ) and I am in a proper country mood, probably down to me watching horse movies today and last night, haw haw.
TIME FOR MORE BROWSING!
Friday, 21 August 2009
cat food, smoke and hay
Is what I can smell....
Grey clouds, blue sky, ree, junk food, dying flowers is what I can see.
Worked today...got absolutely poured on :(
Chilled out at home then Ree came over in a taxi and I got in and now sat at her house, we have been sorting through house things, bills and crap.
Got tea on tap (y)
Work tomorrow, record fair, x factor, drinking and general crap :)
Grey clouds, blue sky, ree, junk food, dying flowers is what I can see.
Worked today...got absolutely poured on :(
Chilled out at home then Ree came over in a taxi and I got in and now sat at her house, we have been sorting through house things, bills and crap.
Got tea on tap (y)
Work tomorrow, record fair, x factor, drinking and general crap :)
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Furniture
Ree and I just watched Kirsties home thingggggggggg...
And they had the spinning wheel, nice quilts, bedroom things.
Ree and I are going to have the BESTTTTTTEESSSTTTT house! :)
Get your Cath Kidson out.
We saw some well nice vintage type bird cageessssssssss, picnic baskets, signs :)
And they had the spinning wheel, nice quilts, bedroom things.
Ree and I are going to have the BESTTTTTTEESSSTTTT house! :)
Get your Cath Kidson out.
We saw some well nice vintage type bird cageessssssssss, picnic baskets, signs :)
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Learning spread sheets
Yes I am!
I have spent 5 hours now working on them, I have figured out how much it will cost me to have the initial start up of the horse (bridle, saddle, kit etc) but majority of it second hand/I have already :)
And I worked out how much it will cost per week, month and year!
Now I will await the 8 months until I can come home and get myself a horse, a new flat with Ree hopefully and a full time job :)
Time for Hollyoaks and coffeeeeee!
I have spent 5 hours now working on them, I have figured out how much it will cost me to have the initial start up of the horse (bridle, saddle, kit etc) but majority of it second hand/I have already :)
And I worked out how much it will cost per week, month and year!
Now I will await the 8 months until I can come home and get myself a horse, a new flat with Ree hopefully and a full time job :)
Time for Hollyoaks and coffeeeeee!
Monday, 17 August 2009
This week has been amazing
It really has, very good fun :) Been helping out with Nat and Leslie's wedding/ceremony week. Wednesday was the ceremony (legal part) where we all went to this nice little place, and took quite alot of photos (which i shall post below)
Once we came back there was a buffet and some drinks which was nice, we all ate a little too much though. The rest of the week was helping put things together and such, tent went up on friday and it took 2 hours!! EFFORT. This was a more chilled night, Ree felt ill so she stayed at home whilst the younger people got drunk, but was quite entertaining watching them...apart from when Megan was sick outside and on the doorway of the tent. (horrible)
The next day we got up at 8am and walked to the house in the rain through the wet grass, showered and got ready, which felt amazing after camping! Louise and I walked upto the steeple slightly earlier to decorate the rails up there, and waited for the whole family and everyone walk up whilst Marcus (shetland) pulled the cart along with Nat and Leslie in.
All of us had to then sing some chants, sheema sheema, sheeemmmmaaa, sheemaaa....etc, and it was quite spirit felt. Once back at the fields the music went on, the drinks poured and once again ate too much food.
When the sun went down, and after the band played a fight went on between two grown men, shouting words I wouldn't want to repeat, this had put a downer on the rest of the night. After a good nights sleep (at the house) we had a bbq fry up of veggie sausages, eggs, pepper and bread which was quite nice, and took down everything and packed it all away.
Now I awake on the Monday, 9 hours sleep, most I have had all weekend, and it feels too much :)
Once we came back there was a buffet and some drinks which was nice, we all ate a little too much though. The rest of the week was helping put things together and such, tent went up on friday and it took 2 hours!! EFFORT. This was a more chilled night, Ree felt ill so she stayed at home whilst the younger people got drunk, but was quite entertaining watching them...apart from when Megan was sick outside and on the doorway of the tent. (horrible)
The next day we got up at 8am and walked to the house in the rain through the wet grass, showered and got ready, which felt amazing after camping! Louise and I walked upto the steeple slightly earlier to decorate the rails up there, and waited for the whole family and everyone walk up whilst Marcus (shetland) pulled the cart along with Nat and Leslie in.
All of us had to then sing some chants, sheema sheema, sheeemmmmaaa, sheemaaa....etc, and it was quite spirit felt. Once back at the fields the music went on, the drinks poured and once again ate too much food.
When the sun went down, and after the band played a fight went on between two grown men, shouting words I wouldn't want to repeat, this had put a downer on the rest of the night. After a good nights sleep (at the house) we had a bbq fry up of veggie sausages, eggs, pepper and bread which was quite nice, and took down everything and packed it all away.
Now I awake on the Monday, 9 hours sleep, most I have had all weekend, and it feels too much :)
Monday, 27 July 2009
Stressful times
Yes.
The last week has been mega stressful, I cannot decide whether to stay here and work for rent and be pretty poor, or to go back to Cornwall until 15th September...
Such a hard decision :(
I need help!
The last week has been mega stressful, I cannot decide whether to stay here and work for rent and be pretty poor, or to go back to Cornwall until 15th September...
Such a hard decision :(
I need help!
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Sun, sea and clear air
I WANT TO GO BACK TO CORNWALL!
Why on earth did I think it was a good idea to stay in Bournemouth over summer? I have never had such a boring summer before.
I feel so lonely up here and I am not earning any money because the money I do earn is going on rent. If I was back in cornwall I could not work and live for free...
I can't seem to find a second job, if the summer carries on this lonely I am not going to be happy at all. Joe is going back home next week too :(
It has rained pretty much everyday, all I can think about is finding a house to live in and money and how im not back home for summer.
I have to live in a 3 bed flat by myself from thursday, great.
:(
Why on earth did I think it was a good idea to stay in Bournemouth over summer? I have never had such a boring summer before.
I feel so lonely up here and I am not earning any money because the money I do earn is going on rent. If I was back in cornwall I could not work and live for free...
I can't seem to find a second job, if the summer carries on this lonely I am not going to be happy at all. Joe is going back home next week too :(
It has rained pretty much everyday, all I can think about is finding a house to live in and money and how im not back home for summer.
I have to live in a 3 bed flat by myself from thursday, great.
:(
Saturday, 18 July 2009
Tired
Yes
Ready to go to winton now, BE SUNNY! just waiting on Joe.
Need to register at doctors, dentists and get baking stuff for later! :) yesyes, I keep itchinggg, argh, need to go to boots and be like HELPPPP. I think I am allergic to this damn moisturizer I bought the other day :(
Ready to go to winton now, BE SUNNY! just waiting on Joe.
Need to register at doctors, dentists and get baking stuff for later! :) yesyes, I keep itchinggg, argh, need to go to boots and be like HELPPPP. I think I am allergic to this damn moisturizer I bought the other day :(
Thursday, 16 July 2009
SO DAMN ITCHY
My gosh.
My hands have never been this itchy before, apart from when I had a reaction to Photography chemicals.
The only thing that I have changed about myself is I bought some hand cream the other day, never used it before...
But they are coming up like insect bites! hmm...and im itchy all over, which I thought was because of Richie's hair
who knows, im thinking hot bath!
Part from this, I have been feeling faint all day and had the worst toothache! :(
Bad times.
Pizza and coke time!
My hands have never been this itchy before, apart from when I had a reaction to Photography chemicals.
The only thing that I have changed about myself is I bought some hand cream the other day, never used it before...
But they are coming up like insect bites! hmm...and im itchy all over, which I thought was because of Richie's hair
who knows, im thinking hot bath!
Part from this, I have been feeling faint all day and had the worst toothache! :(
Bad times.
Pizza and coke time!
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Frozen Ribena
Well, I forgot to take the Ribena out of the freezer, so I am waiting for it to melt, mwhaha :)
Alright day at work, two people bought some items that I nicely suggested to them, but the rest of the day went quite boring, took 1 hour to try and get hairspray and hand cream!
Done a little cleannnn because I are addicteddd :) BUT yes. Richie is coming around in abit to have a haircut...
No idea if I will be able to manage what he wants, but hey...may as well give it a go.
BREWTIME :)
Alright day at work, two people bought some items that I nicely suggested to them, but the rest of the day went quite boring, took 1 hour to try and get hairspray and hand cream!
Done a little cleannnn because I are addicteddd :) BUT yes. Richie is coming around in abit to have a haircut...
No idea if I will be able to manage what he wants, but hey...may as well give it a go.
BREWTIME :)
Monday, 13 July 2009
Beautiful Romance
Picture The Notebook...why isn't romance like that in todays society, all you hear about now is one night stands, drugs, hangovers, and so on. I am sure it went on in the old days but you hear it so much more now.
People keep more to themselves as well apparently, and just much more closed off.
Fairgrounds instead of clubs, picnics instead of posh restaurants, laying in a field together than a one night stand...and so on.
Where is the excitement in todays 'love'? I am sure it goes on, but after talking to a fair few elderly people it has pretty much died...apart from the odd occasion/person who is all for proper good old fashion romance.
Holding the door open for women, some people are 'too busy' to even think twice about holding a door, helping someone carry something across the road, a wait to have sex so every touch is better than the last, occasional writing to one another instead of texts, a hand picked flower instead of a bouquet...
Things like this :)
I know I would much rather have one single hand picked flower than a bouquet of flowers, or not even hand picked..just one flower, because that flower would be better than the rest because he would have picked it out.
If you are still reading this, I am impressed...
I am only writing this now because I have watched alot of romance films the last few days, and always thought how good 'old romance' would be to come back.
I don't like pervy men who stare when you walk past them, I dont like 'get your tits out' shouted at me from a car driving by, I dont want someone to talk dirty/rude the first day I meet them.
I know a few other people feel the same way, bring back romance! how it used to be, with a teeny mix of how it is today :)
Saturday, 11 July 2009
And it does
RAIN!
Finallyyyy :) ( the cutest little kitten below ^_^ )
Im so cold right now, my window is a teeny bit open and there is so much wind coming through it, its unbelivable.
I have packed one wardrobe of clothes away into black bin bags, only two more to go :p but I will leave that to another rainy day, I have to move out on the 25th but I am going to move to winton for a month or so I think, which I can't wait! Will talk to Sue about it on Tuesday.
I need someone to drive me to where ever I am thinking of leaving all of my things :/ But thats all next week!
Today I have done nothing much really, woke up, went to the shop and bought biscuits yay, watched a few episodes of Desperate Housewives and yeah, sorted through things..My plans for tonight consist of nothing, I am trying to save money :(!
Time for jumpers, tea & possible potato time!
Finallyyyy :) ( the cutest little kitten below ^_^ )
Im so cold right now, my window is a teeny bit open and there is so much wind coming through it, its unbelivable.
I have packed one wardrobe of clothes away into black bin bags, only two more to go :p but I will leave that to another rainy day, I have to move out on the 25th but I am going to move to winton for a month or so I think, which I can't wait! Will talk to Sue about it on Tuesday.
I need someone to drive me to where ever I am thinking of leaving all of my things :/ But thats all next week!
Today I have done nothing much really, woke up, went to the shop and bought biscuits yay, watched a few episodes of Desperate Housewives and yeah, sorted through things..My plans for tonight consist of nothing, I am trying to save money :(!
Time for jumpers, tea & possible potato time!
Friday, 10 July 2009
Will it or wont it?
Rain...
(me being a sillyhead on cam)
It looks as if it is about to all day, and I just want the weather to decide what its going to do!
Anyways, just listened to A day to remember - You had me at hello, I haven't heard this song for ages...
Beautiful lyrics.
I'm missing you so much, I'll see you die tonight
Just so I can get to you before the sun will rise
I know the signs are on and I feel this too
None of that ever seems to matter when I'm holding you
And I'm wasting away, away from you
What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to
You had me at hello.
I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours
It's simply radiant, I feel more with everyday that goes by
I watch the clock so I can make my timing just right
Would it be okay?
Would it be okay if I took your breath away?
And I'm wasting away, away from you.
What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to
You had me at hello
Home alone, literally haven't done anything today apart from shower and watch desperate housewives, I fancy biscuits to dip into tea, but I have none :o may have to venture out in abit. Good times, I am going to get on with some tidying now I think! :)
(me being a sillyhead on cam)It looks as if it is about to all day, and I just want the weather to decide what its going to do!
Anyways, just listened to A day to remember - You had me at hello, I haven't heard this song for ages...
Beautiful lyrics.
I'm missing you so much, I'll see you die tonight
Just so I can get to you before the sun will rise
I know the signs are on and I feel this too
None of that ever seems to matter when I'm holding you
And I'm wasting away, away from you
What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to
You had me at hello.
I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours
It's simply radiant, I feel more with everyday that goes by
I watch the clock so I can make my timing just right
Would it be okay?
Would it be okay if I took your breath away?
And I'm wasting away, away from you.
What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to
You had me at hello
You gave me butterflies at the mailbox, you had me at hello.
(NOM AT MILLIONS)
(NOM AT MILLIONS)Home alone, literally haven't done anything today apart from shower and watch desperate housewives, I fancy biscuits to dip into tea, but I have none :o may have to venture out in abit. Good times, I am going to get on with some tidying now I think! :)
Thursday, 9 July 2009
For Joey
A whole blog for himself
Because he deserves on bless him!
Joey is a lovely gorgeous lad who lived in a shoe, this shoe had laces, and those laces were for Joey to hold onto when it got windy, the wind would knock the shoe from side to side, the side it did move onto was usually better than the last, the last side was big and full of long long grass, the grass tickled Joey in the mornings, then the morning sun rose and Joey felt awake, whilst being awake his shoe GREWWWWW, whilst his shoe was growing tammy came to visit and Joey and Tammy ran across the fields skipping, after skipping they hopped back to Joeys rather large shoe and she cooked him dinner and they lived happily ever after
:) The End.
Because he deserves on bless him!
Joey is a lovely gorgeous lad who lived in a shoe, this shoe had laces, and those laces were for Joey to hold onto when it got windy, the wind would knock the shoe from side to side, the side it did move onto was usually better than the last, the last side was big and full of long long grass, the grass tickled Joey in the mornings, then the morning sun rose and Joey felt awake, whilst being awake his shoe GREWWWWW, whilst his shoe was growing tammy came to visit and Joey and Tammy ran across the fields skipping, after skipping they hopped back to Joeys rather large shoe and she cooked him dinner and they lived happily ever after
:) The End.
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Shrivelled tea bag
The past week or so has been UP UP UP and so DOWN DOWN DOWN, again...I really can't see why things are simple.
I got left homeless yesterday after I have been trying to find out about when we can all move into the new house, and my 'so called good friend' told me I couldn't live there anymore because her mum thought I wasn't excited...
How could I simply be more excited, the house was half finished, I was knackered on the day of viewing the house....Totally rediculous if I have anything to say about it.
This hurt me so much, I was crying down the phone to Joe and when I was talking to Lucy, I couldn't stop..I honestly was so hurt someone could do this for me, and a "hope you have somewhere else to live" well...infact no, I dont...No money, no house, no nothing...
I shouldn't trust people so easily, and if she thinks things between us can stay the same then she has another thing coming, this has happened twice now, last year it happened too.
I was so angry, I still am...but I went for a house viewing last night at 11.30pm, bit late, but it was just around the corner, was a really nice house...the avaliable room wasn't all that great, but would be saving myself loads of money & is close to University again, and I would be living with nice people :)
Seeing it again this week, but yes. I cannot forgive Katt for what she has done to me for a while, and today has cheered me up a little too.
Dan drove down from Guilford and we spent the afternoon watching family guy, talking, costa, town and the beach...was lovely :)
I want to sleep but I have way too much on my mind at the moment, someone make things easier for me please?
I got left homeless yesterday after I have been trying to find out about when we can all move into the new house, and my 'so called good friend' told me I couldn't live there anymore because her mum thought I wasn't excited...
How could I simply be more excited, the house was half finished, I was knackered on the day of viewing the house....Totally rediculous if I have anything to say about it.
This hurt me so much, I was crying down the phone to Joe and when I was talking to Lucy, I couldn't stop..I honestly was so hurt someone could do this for me, and a "hope you have somewhere else to live" well...infact no, I dont...No money, no house, no nothing...
I shouldn't trust people so easily, and if she thinks things between us can stay the same then she has another thing coming, this has happened twice now, last year it happened too.
I was so angry, I still am...but I went for a house viewing last night at 11.30pm, bit late, but it was just around the corner, was a really nice house...the avaliable room wasn't all that great, but would be saving myself loads of money & is close to University again, and I would be living with nice people :)
Seeing it again this week, but yes. I cannot forgive Katt for what she has done to me for a while, and today has cheered me up a little too.
Dan drove down from Guilford and we spent the afternoon watching family guy, talking, costa, town and the beach...was lovely :)
I want to sleep but I have way too much on my mind at the moment, someone make things easier for me please?
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Mediteranian pizza
yum yum
Thankyou lucy for buying it...watching home and away at the moment, oh well good.
Work was really dull today, had a couple customers but only sold one item, bad times!
House is kind of tidy at the moment, which makes me happy happy happy. My best friend Suz is down soon on the weekend, excited.
Garden parties and all, oh hello!
Time to finish my pizza :)
Thankyou lucy for buying it...watching home and away at the moment, oh well good.
Work was really dull today, had a couple customers but only sold one item, bad times!
House is kind of tidy at the moment, which makes me happy happy happy. My best friend Suz is down soon on the weekend, excited.
Garden parties and all, oh hello!
Time to finish my pizza :)
Monday, 29 June 2009
Cornish dayyyy
Actualy woke up early and went into town and had PASTIES, yesyes! then went to the garden and watched wimbledon on the big screen on deck chairrrs, was nice and warm.
Soon followed with cream tea's on the pier, which was very nice :)
After this we went on the beach and went for a swim in a bra and a sarong, cold but very goood!
We finished it off with chips at the garden and some more wimbeldon and came home :)
Work tomorrow, hope its good!
French music, cornish day...
Okay
so the last few days have been pretty good, work is getting better, I actually sold my first peice of clothing that i suggested for a women :)
Listening to some Couer de pirate at the moment, OH I LOVE....and I am getting ready because Lucy and I want a sea side day that includes pasties, cream tea and fish and chips (minus the fish) haha :) and to build sand castles etc, wear cornish clothes...well, seaside!
good times, I have to move out of this house in a month, even less than that...and I have no other house to move in, but I have had a few offers from people which is nice.
I will write a longer blog later, and I should have written more but I havent had time...
so the last few days have been pretty good, work is getting better, I actually sold my first peice of clothing that i suggested for a women :)
Listening to some Couer de pirate at the moment, OH I LOVE....and I am getting ready because Lucy and I want a sea side day that includes pasties, cream tea and fish and chips (minus the fish) haha :) and to build sand castles etc, wear cornish clothes...well, seaside!
good times, I have to move out of this house in a month, even less than that...and I have no other house to move in, but I have had a few offers from people which is nice.
I will write a longer blog later, and I should have written more but I havent had time...
Saturday, 20 June 2009
Sore feetttt
Well
been around town today
and got myself a new job
so thats two...
A boutique and a hotel, I would much rather work in the boutique, but I need as many hours as possible, but I am not working on a sunday
:)
Drinking coke in bed
lovely
thought I would update as I haven't much this week
been around town today
and got myself a new job
so thats two...
A boutique and a hotel, I would much rather work in the boutique, but I need as many hours as possible, but I am not working on a sunday
:)
Drinking coke in bed
lovely
thought I would update as I haven't much this week
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Dark corners
I hate how my light is broken in this corner, I might sit on my bed, WHO REALLY CARES?
exactly.
I don't know what to think at the moment, so much is going on in my head :(
Bah, not fair.
I want to write them all out, but at the same time I hate sharing things so I will keep them to myself and tell no one, because that's what I usually do.
I am so bored right now, and would like some company but that doesn't really happen does it, no.
Cant be arsed really. I want my dream, and I want it to come true...or at least for something really good to happen to me, and it doesn't ever, something fucks it up...all the time pretty much. surly I deserve some good luck?
exactly.
I don't know what to think at the moment, so much is going on in my head :(
Bah, not fair.
I want to write them all out, but at the same time I hate sharing things so I will keep them to myself and tell no one, because that's what I usually do.
I am so bored right now, and would like some company but that doesn't really happen does it, no.
Cant be arsed really. I want my dream, and I want it to come true...or at least for something really good to happen to me, and it doesn't ever, something fucks it up...all the time pretty much. surly I deserve some good luck?
Sunday, 14 June 2009
All the days before tomorrow
Such a strange and good film :)
Sat in bed, feeling so clean and my hair smells delicious, yes. I start my 'trial' tomorrow morning, kind of scared, hope it goes okay!
Plans for today is to wake everyone up in about an hour, go to ASDA get alot of cleaning products and work on the house, all 6 of us...oh what a fun day.
At least the house will be tidy for Alex and me....I really want a cup of coffee and some cheese on toast right about now, or some cake.
LOVELY...I might make some later :)
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Go home darlin'
A vision in a dream,
A beautiful design,
That's all you are,
So divine,
You need some hope,
You need to sleep,
Go home darlin'
Nothing here I can keep,
A kiss in the sand
Our lips wont stop,
An empty hand,
In need of another,
Close your eyes,
Picture this,
A lovesick story?
Time to reminisce,
The bundle of wasted moments,
A lifetime of trust,
It aint worth shit,
This isn't love, this is lust.
I felt like writing, and this is what came out, could be a poem, lyrics, story...I don't know, but yeah :)
A beautiful design,
That's all you are,
So divine,
You need some hope,
You need to sleep,
Go home darlin'
Nothing here I can keep,
A kiss in the sand
Our lips wont stop,
An empty hand,
In need of another,
Close your eyes,
Picture this,
A lovesick story?
Time to reminisce,
The bundle of wasted moments,
A lifetime of trust,
It aint worth shit,
This isn't love, this is lust.
I felt like writing, and this is what came out, could be a poem, lyrics, story...I don't know, but yeah :)
Friday, 12 June 2009
Acoustic music & thoughts
Oh yes, amazing stuff I am listening to, William Fitzsimmons, city and colour, luke pickett...
My main thought at the moment is how uncomfortable I am, my back seems to really hurt or just feel odd, as if it has been stuck on with wet cement...and it might come off at any second.
That is how I feel about alot of things thinking about it...Life is like a wall, layers of bricks, building up and up and expanding, you need the cement (stability and hope) to hold it there. If you don't have that, how can the bricks stay up? They can't...and if they do it is only a moment until they all fall back down again, and you have to start from scratch.
Trust is another big thing that is needed in the cement to keep it still. Everyone has had that time in their life when the cement just wears off and the bricks fall back down, whether a couple bricks or the whole lot...the only thing we can do is to keep rebuilding this wall which represents ourselves...I have lost trust before in many people, but it has made me stronger, made me into a different person...I now know who I can trust, and those whom I cannot.
You can't go through life without one single hiccup occurring, those little or big hiccups are those that should make you a bigger person, don't give up, push it behind you, do better next time, move along....I wish I could tell myself this and actually go along with it, but it is hard, very hard at times, but would you rather waste your time dwelling on the past, or make a go at the future?
I know what one I would much like to do, I just need to keep telling myself not to give up so easily, one day it will happen...its meant to be.
Late night thinking is the best, when your in bed listening to good music...and you have your thoughts and that is all, I think way too much for an average person, I couldn't possibly write down everything I was thinking, that would be crazy.
I think it is time for sleep, good night and sweet dreams...keep looking forwards :)
My main thought at the moment is how uncomfortable I am, my back seems to really hurt or just feel odd, as if it has been stuck on with wet cement...and it might come off at any second.
That is how I feel about alot of things thinking about it...Life is like a wall, layers of bricks, building up and up and expanding, you need the cement (stability and hope) to hold it there. If you don't have that, how can the bricks stay up? They can't...and if they do it is only a moment until they all fall back down again, and you have to start from scratch.
Trust is another big thing that is needed in the cement to keep it still. Everyone has had that time in their life when the cement just wears off and the bricks fall back down, whether a couple bricks or the whole lot...the only thing we can do is to keep rebuilding this wall which represents ourselves...I have lost trust before in many people, but it has made me stronger, made me into a different person...I now know who I can trust, and those whom I cannot.
You can't go through life without one single hiccup occurring, those little or big hiccups are those that should make you a bigger person, don't give up, push it behind you, do better next time, move along....I wish I could tell myself this and actually go along with it, but it is hard, very hard at times, but would you rather waste your time dwelling on the past, or make a go at the future?
I know what one I would much like to do, I just need to keep telling myself not to give up so easily, one day it will happen...its meant to be.
Late night thinking is the best, when your in bed listening to good music...and you have your thoughts and that is all, I think way too much for an average person, I couldn't possibly write down everything I was thinking, that would be crazy.
I think it is time for sleep, good night and sweet dreams...keep looking forwards :)
Oh someone buy me a horse please
:(
No one understands just how much I want a horse again, this is a photo of my beautiful horse that had to be put down because she had a broken leg (beyond repair) it was horrible to experience, she was a 4 year old TB cross, very fast.
This is Jack, my coloured cob, He was my most recent horse but had to sell him because of college :( he was the nicest and gentle horse I had ever met, and was full of character.
This is my most favourite image I have, two things I miss and love and that is my mum and a horse, the first I ever rode. Rest in peace x
Dynamite, first horse of my own, he was a little beaut...loved jumping everything and was a little boy at heart.
Today when I went to the new forest I realised how much I actually miss not having a horse, being around horses my whole life and studying every last detail of them, then not to have it for a few years is tough. I know I am not as happy as I could be, my most happiest I have been was one summers day late in the evening my horse Bracken (who I dont have a photo of) was falling asleep in the grass and I layed inbetween his legs and put a blanket over us and we both fell asleep...
I am seriously going to get a horse, whether I work shit loads of hours or get one on loan I NEED one...you probably think I am silly saying this, but have you ever loved something so much that you don't feel whole until you have it? That is how I feel about horses, my dad did always say I had a magic touch with horses, OHH BRING ON SUMMER '10.
I need these four legged creatures in my life, and the thing that has annoyed me the most in my life with desition making is the morning I woke up and thought 'do i really want to go into horse training and equine managment' YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID YES TAMMY!
The only thing I want to do in life, truly, is to train horses and help as many of them as I can.
Maybe one day :)
No one understands just how much I want a horse again, this is a photo of my beautiful horse that had to be put down because she had a broken leg (beyond repair) it was horrible to experience, she was a 4 year old TB cross, very fast.
This is Jack, my coloured cob, He was my most recent horse but had to sell him because of college :( he was the nicest and gentle horse I had ever met, and was full of character.
This is my most favourite image I have, two things I miss and love and that is my mum and a horse, the first I ever rode. Rest in peace x
Dynamite, first horse of my own, he was a little beaut...loved jumping everything and was a little boy at heart.
Today when I went to the new forest I realised how much I actually miss not having a horse, being around horses my whole life and studying every last detail of them, then not to have it for a few years is tough. I know I am not as happy as I could be, my most happiest I have been was one summers day late in the evening my horse Bracken (who I dont have a photo of) was falling asleep in the grass and I layed inbetween his legs and put a blanket over us and we both fell asleep...
I am seriously going to get a horse, whether I work shit loads of hours or get one on loan I NEED one...you probably think I am silly saying this, but have you ever loved something so much that you don't feel whole until you have it? That is how I feel about horses, my dad did always say I had a magic touch with horses, OHH BRING ON SUMMER '10.
I need these four legged creatures in my life, and the thing that has annoyed me the most in my life with desition making is the morning I woke up and thought 'do i really want to go into horse training and equine managment' YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID YES TAMMY!
The only thing I want to do in life, truly, is to train horses and help as many of them as I can.
Maybe one day :)
OH I AM ANGRY
I was in a well good mood earlier, Luce Chris Jake and me went to the new forest and had a proper nice day out...then we get home to BILLSS :(
I AM SO POOR RIGHT NOW!
Not good at all, so I am sat here...angry, angry at my slight shopping addiction, and fact I cannot manage money :(
BAH
Eyes of a traitor are kinda making it better....all I would like now is a cup of tea, someoneee & movies
I AM SO POOR RIGHT NOW!
Not good at all, so I am sat here...angry, angry at my slight shopping addiction, and fact I cannot manage money :(
BAH
Eyes of a traitor are kinda making it better....all I would like now is a cup of tea, someoneee & movies
Dallas Green, White Cloud & Towels
Just had a shower and it isnt very nice weather outside , just white cloud...which I hate for photography unless the clouds have some texture, pahah yes!
The shop I had an interview at yesterday just rang me and said I should come in on Monday for a proper trial type thing to see if I can manage it.
OH HELLO POSSIBLE JOB.
I want Dan to come down today but I don't know if I have the day free again :( WHICH IS NOT GOOD. I need to sort out deposits, trying to get them back and sort out inventory, go into the shop and sort out clothing. I can probs do this all in a few hours I hopeee :)
Dallas Green is making me happy, I love city and colour ♥
NOMNOMNOM
I am going to dry my hair and get a cup of tea, bye!
The shop I had an interview at yesterday just rang me and said I should come in on Monday for a proper trial type thing to see if I can manage it.
OH HELLO POSSIBLE JOB.
I want Dan to come down today but I don't know if I have the day free again :( WHICH IS NOT GOOD. I need to sort out deposits, trying to get them back and sort out inventory, go into the shop and sort out clothing. I can probs do this all in a few hours I hopeee :)
Dallas Green is making me happy, I love city and colour ♥
NOMNOMNOM
I am going to dry my hair and get a cup of tea, bye!
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Tired eyes
My eyes feel so heavy and sandy, I generally feel a bit dirty, I always do when I have come off the beach...bleh, oh well. I am sat in my housemates jumper, its so big and woolen, HELLO COMFY CLOTHES.
Drinking tea and coke, good combination, one after the hour, whilst dunking some custard cream biscuits because I enjoy them. Writing this blog is quite good because I am remembering to spell check (most of the time) and I am capitalizing my I's :D
Today was pretty good, woke up and watched The Notebook - and cried! :'( haha, job interview, couldn't decide on what clothes to wear, but I ended up being 10 minutes early ;) The lady told me to ring her tomorrow morning and to go home and pick out some outfits I could potentially wear in the shop...OH GOSH, I am still stuck for ideassss.
OH WELL, and I am silly not reading things properly in my diary haha, so ended up going to the beach with Lucy for a couple hours, lovely. I think it is time for more dunking, more Early November, getting rid of this damn fly anddd something else, might watch a film :)
Here is a photo for you all haha, I LOVE TEA AND THIS JUMPER. fact!
Drinking tea and coke, good combination, one after the hour, whilst dunking some custard cream biscuits because I enjoy them. Writing this blog is quite good because I am remembering to spell check (most of the time) and I am capitalizing my I's :D
Today was pretty good, woke up and watched The Notebook - and cried! :'( haha, job interview, couldn't decide on what clothes to wear, but I ended up being 10 minutes early ;) The lady told me to ring her tomorrow morning and to go home and pick out some outfits I could potentially wear in the shop...OH GOSH, I am still stuck for ideassss.
OH WELL, and I am silly not reading things properly in my diary haha, so ended up going to the beach with Lucy for a couple hours, lovely. I think it is time for more dunking, more Early November, getting rid of this damn fly anddd something else, might watch a film :)
Here is a photo for you all haha, I LOVE TEA AND THIS JUMPER. fact!
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Coco Pops and Eastenders
Yes yes, still in bed and its 12.22pm
Oh well, think Lucy wants to go out for a little adventure today
either to the New Forest or to the Blue Pool, which means PHOTOSSS HELLO
Im not sure which I would prefer, probably New Forest.
I need a showeerrrrrrrrrr, and to get dressed. Might be going to a BBQ / Bournemouth town later for Mikes birthday, good times!
Bach has just came on on my itunes, oh hello classical music.
OKAYY well I am going to force myself to get up, chose something to wear, shower and get ready :)
Oh well, think Lucy wants to go out for a little adventure today
either to the New Forest or to the Blue Pool, which means PHOTOSSS HELLO
Im not sure which I would prefer, probably New Forest.
I need a showeerrrrrrrrrr, and to get dressed. Might be going to a BBQ / Bournemouth town later for Mikes birthday, good times!
Bach has just came on on my itunes, oh hello classical music.
OKAYY well I am going to force myself to get up, chose something to wear, shower and get ready :)
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Vintage ciderr
Hello nicest ever cider!
Honestly, yummiest EVERRRR! I might end up getting drunk if I keep drinking it so fast, anyways I have made an effort to go out...I think my housemates and I are going to the carvery pub place, nomnomnom
good times, HELLO VEGETARIAN FOODS!
Today was quite good, woke up at half 7!!! haha, early, did some Job hunting, literally applied EVERYWHERE (that wasn't a food place, or an outdoors tent place)
LOVELY LOVELY, then bought some bra's HELLO, and some DVD's...but they were cheap, so its kinda okay...even though im quite the poor one at the moment.
someone employ me please!
:) BYEEE
Monday, 8 June 2009
Kings and Queens
Sunday, 7 June 2009
SO chilly
Tonight, not good.
Went to The Gander for a mates gig, was quite good, apart from one awkward thing there hah, part from that (y) im into it.
Got a taxi home too because I hate busses & I just wanted to be in my bed with a cup of tea tbh, and that is where I am now....In bed, finished my brew though - someone supply me with another one pleaseee :D & hello custard cream which I may have to demolish soon!
Also, taxi was much cheaper than what I thought it was going to be! and he was really chatty (y)
I am still cold, someone come warm me up yesyes ^_^
My eyes are hurting, my knee is itching & WHY IT IS STILL SO COLD?!
I have my little heater on, yes!
I can hear Chris' really annoying bass through my door, I want sleep soon....
night guys!
Went to The Gander for a mates gig, was quite good, apart from one awkward thing there hah, part from that (y) im into it.
Got a taxi home too because I hate busses & I just wanted to be in my bed with a cup of tea tbh, and that is where I am now....In bed, finished my brew though - someone supply me with another one pleaseee :D & hello custard cream which I may have to demolish soon!
Also, taxi was much cheaper than what I thought it was going to be! and he was really chatty (y)
I am still cold, someone come warm me up yesyes ^_^
My eyes are hurting, my knee is itching & WHY IT IS STILL SO COLD?!
I have my little heater on, yes!
I can hear Chris' really annoying bass through my door, I want sleep soon....
night guys!
Terrible sleep
Went to bed around 1am and had a random dream about driving a REALLY small boat, as in the size of my hands, and I was going alongside a pirate ship who was MASSIVE, and kept dreaming about going to the toilet, then got woke up by more thunder and took ages to get back to sleep..
Lucy then rang me to get someones number cause they had lost him at the Summer Ball, more dreams about toilets, then they came home and we sat and chatted for an hour or so and went to sleep when it was light outside, whilst listening to Blink 182 and decided this is not helping me sleep at all...haha, then Alex wakes me up by knocking on the door...
Its not the quantity of the sleep, its the quality. so im going to be tired all day :( not good!
Well up for doing something different though, Alex is going to the Aquarium, I well want that now. or go out for breakfast, aquarium, arcade, merry go round, ice cream on the beach - with a nice man, or a good friend...probably wont happen today.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/becheery/1512220595/
Time for brioche, coffee and some good music :)
Lucy then rang me to get someones number cause they had lost him at the Summer Ball, more dreams about toilets, then they came home and we sat and chatted for an hour or so and went to sleep when it was light outside, whilst listening to Blink 182 and decided this is not helping me sleep at all...haha, then Alex wakes me up by knocking on the door...
Its not the quantity of the sleep, its the quality. so im going to be tired all day :( not good!
Well up for doing something different though, Alex is going to the Aquarium, I well want that now. or go out for breakfast, aquarium, arcade, merry go round, ice cream on the beach - with a nice man, or a good friend...probably wont happen today.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/becheery/1512220595/Time for brioche, coffee and some good music :)
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Hello thunder storm
Hello geeky looking tammy!
Anyways, it is heavy raining outside with thunder and lightening, Im so glad im not like the other 4000 students out around here in a field right now.
& HELLO that was the loudest thunder I have honestly EVER heard, shook the whole house and my bed was moving :S did get a little scared to be honest.
Yeah I sold my Summer Ball ticket with profit (y) hence why I am not out tonight.
Listening to The Maine atm, good times...it is also too hot and too cold, im sat in shorts and a tee with a fire on, but when i get out of bed its too cold, but arghhh.
Get your complaints out!
ANYWAYSSSSS.
saw my new house today, pretty far from Uni, but its quite nice, with good people, so hopefully it will help me concentrate much more than the house im in now...I want my photography to go MEGA GOODDDD, im determind to get a first.
Yay.
Another good thing about today is i bought brioche, nomnomnom :)
I am going to head off now and either sleep or carry on with MSN, night petals.
Friday, 5 June 2009
Today has been good
Yes,
Looked for some jobs in the morning, Joe and Chantel came over so we walked to Winton, went for some lunch did a little shopping in Wilks then went to Katts, and Matt was there too
:)
good times, walked home listening to a bit of Four Year Strong and sat now with Alex and James about to watch Coraline and eat take away (once it comes)
Oh how good!
Hope your all okay
Looked for some jobs in the morning, Joe and Chantel came over so we walked to Winton, went for some lunch did a little shopping in Wilks then went to Katts, and Matt was there too
:)
good times, walked home listening to a bit of Four Year Strong and sat now with Alex and James about to watch Coraline and eat take away (once it comes)
Oh how good!
Hope your all okay
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Good Morning
Another sunny day, can I hack the heat today? I hope so :)
I was planning on getting up early (which I have managed) and going job hunting, I would much like to go with Joe/Katt and make a day of it, otherwise it is just boring, and I will most probably give up after an hour or so.
Reality slightly hit me in the face yesterday twice, but I can't let him get to me, he isn't worth me getting annoyed or upset over, his loss pretty much. The other reality check I was kind of expecting, It isn't even a reality check really...Just a "oh..." and I have learnt slightly from it, but yes.
I have a house now with Katt so im happy because I know it will be a less stressful house!
Currently eating bits of cheese on cold toast, nomnom
with a cup of tea may I add.
Definite perfect colour, and hello bubbles!
I need to work on a photograph today, the song 'Emarosa - The Past Should Stay Dead' I have one rough idea, but it may be quite difficult to get the main image I want, but I will post it up later (if i manage to do it)
I was planning on getting up early (which I have managed) and going job hunting, I would much like to go with Joe/Katt and make a day of it, otherwise it is just boring, and I will most probably give up after an hour or so.
Reality slightly hit me in the face yesterday twice, but I can't let him get to me, he isn't worth me getting annoyed or upset over, his loss pretty much. The other reality check I was kind of expecting, It isn't even a reality check really...Just a "oh..." and I have learnt slightly from it, but yes.
I have a house now with Katt so im happy because I know it will be a less stressful house!
Currently eating bits of cheese on cold toast, nomnom
with a cup of tea may I add.
Definite perfect colour, and hello bubbles!
I need to work on a photograph today, the song 'Emarosa - The Past Should Stay Dead' I have one rough idea, but it may be quite difficult to get the main image I want, but I will post it up later (if i manage to do it)
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
what is love?
This is where I talk about stuff I don't ever talk about to anyone really..
photographer : http://www.flickr.com/photos/tinkerrrbell/
I have never actually been in love or had anything like that, nor have I been on a date and im 21, most people think this is odd, is it because I like the chase and then get bored or is it because i am actually quite scared?
both I think.
I have never really been bothered by all of this love stuff until late last year and I began thinking, why do I say no to every guy that asks me out on a date, or to see me...even if I really like them...
Anytime I do end up getting close to someone I either go off them or things just fade out and I wish someone would tell me why I do this.
I wish sometimes that love was more like the olden days, were men were gentlemen, opened doors for you, picked you flowers, every silence was an easy silence, and every touch felt like electric pulses going through you (from what I have seen and read) unlike today where alot of people just jump on anything and have sex with them, and either end up pregnant or another notch on the bedpost...
Ohh I don't know, its all so confusing, Tammy needs more nice men please :)
photographer : http://www.flickr.com/photos/tinkerrrbell/
I have never actually been in love or had anything like that, nor have I been on a date and im 21, most people think this is odd, is it because I like the chase and then get bored or is it because i am actually quite scared?
both I think.
I have never really been bothered by all of this love stuff until late last year and I began thinking, why do I say no to every guy that asks me out on a date, or to see me...even if I really like them...
Anytime I do end up getting close to someone I either go off them or things just fade out and I wish someone would tell me why I do this.
I wish sometimes that love was more like the olden days, were men were gentlemen, opened doors for you, picked you flowers, every silence was an easy silence, and every touch felt like electric pulses going through you (from what I have seen and read) unlike today where alot of people just jump on anything and have sex with them, and either end up pregnant or another notch on the bedpost...
Ohh I don't know, its all so confusing, Tammy needs more nice men please :)
ahhh :(
proper stressful evening with one certain housemate
who makes me feel like shit pretty much everyday
I packed a bag in anger and literally thought "where am I going to go?"
so I ended up at Katts house with Matt and Mike
and ate lots of chocolate and watched a film
was good, thankyou guys :)
I am feeling much better now, and am in bed watching hollyoaks!
AHHH INTENSE
just came across this photo on Flickr, and I really want to be there right now please?!
and here is the link to his other photos...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/visbeek/archives/date-posted/2008/07/01/
who makes me feel like shit pretty much everyday
I packed a bag in anger and literally thought "where am I going to go?"
so I ended up at Katts house with Matt and Mike
and ate lots of chocolate and watched a film
was good, thankyou guys :)
I am feeling much better now, and am in bed watching hollyoaks!
AHHH INTENSE
just came across this photo on Flickr, and I really want to be there right now please?!
and here is the link to his other photos...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/visbeek/archives/date-posted/2008/07/01/
someone employ me please
Yes...
Should be out job hunting right now, but instead im looking online and emailing people my CV, it really is just too hot outside!
I applied for one job, FINGERS CROSSED PLEASE :)
I really have an urge for some orange juice right now, nomnomnom, had some the other day and yes it was amazing, but I really cant be bothered to walk to the shop, I might do though...
A song someone gave me to produce a photograph to was M.I.A - paper planes, and i have such a good idea for it, will post photo up later (if i manage to do it later)
Okay, well im going to do something, not sure what .... something :) BYEEE
Should be out job hunting right now, but instead im looking online and emailing people my CV, it really is just too hot outside!
I applied for one job, FINGERS CROSSED PLEASE :)
I really have an urge for some orange juice right now, nomnomnom, had some the other day and yes it was amazing, but I really cant be bothered to walk to the shop, I might do though...
A song someone gave me to produce a photograph to was M.I.A - paper planes, and i have such a good idea for it, will post photo up later (if i manage to do it later)
Okay, well im going to do something, not sure what .... something :) BYEEE
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
why why why
Is all i ask, but no question mark because it is also slightly a statement as well.
Oh I want to feel normal again please!
This is me ranting on to myself, yep, because it is probably better out than in even though you have no idea what I am going on about...
Small mental breakdown? maybe...maybe.
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
I want to be back in cornwall right now, but what cornwall was 3 years ago when people actually were friends with everyone and it was all nice (most of the time)
Someone come steal me please, give me a cuddle and stroke my hair and tell me nice stories, and maybe pick me a flower....
I can dream :)
BUT all week I have had low self esteem and I want it back please.
soon I hope, I will await.
Oh I want to feel normal again please!
This is me ranting on to myself, yep, because it is probably better out than in even though you have no idea what I am going on about...
Small mental breakdown? maybe...maybe.
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
I want to be back in cornwall right now, but what cornwall was 3 years ago when people actually were friends with everyone and it was all nice (most of the time)
Someone come steal me please, give me a cuddle and stroke my hair and tell me nice stories, and maybe pick me a flower....
I can dream :)
BUT all week I have had low self esteem and I want it back please.
soon I hope, I will await.
it really is too hot
I am really not enjoying this heat much!
& my mac is giving off too much heat too, so not loving life right now...since its my first blog i thought i would maybe give you an insight to myself.
Basically going to copy some bits from my facebook profile :)
My intrestssssss :
going to gigs
meeting new people
travelling to random places
staying up late and getting up early
taking photos
cleaning - mess makes me feel horribleee
cups of tea is a defenate
shopping - when i have the money
going out for social drinks - i don't drink as much as i used to anymore
cuddles
finding new bands to listen to
movies
going for long walks
cooking
making things
I have had a big passion for horse riding and all since I was born but sold my horses..can't wait to be able to have this again.
and my top music on my itunes so far is....
a day to remember
the friday night boys
nevershoutnever!
luke pickett
mercy mercedes
manchester orcestra
between the buried and me
cash cash
the acacia strain
misery signals
four year strong
for the fallen dreams
Okay, so you kind of get the hint!
I really need to go job hunting, but i keep saying 'I will do it tomorrow' NO TAMMY, you need to do it today... (but i will honestly do it tomorrow)
Things are slightly weird at the moment in the house I live in, one of the boys is pretty much ignoring me, it smells like mouldy oranges & were not as 'family like' anymore! bad times.
I think im off to the beach this evening for a few hours, which should be good to see everyone, since I haven't seen that lot in timeee!
Oh hello Pretty Ricky, loving it - ish...its kind of annoying actually & my arms hurt!
After sun please?!
I really want to take some photooooooo's, I just did one for the 'song - photo' project I want to do over summer, the song was Dashboard Confessional - You Have Stolen My Heart...the photo aint that amazing, but oh well.
I really want to clean! bahhh, I can feel the dust, haha pathetic, but I really can :) okayyy well you are probably a bit bored of reading this now, I will make my other blogs a little more exciting ;)
& my mac is giving off too much heat too, so not loving life right now...since its my first blog i thought i would maybe give you an insight to myself.
Basically going to copy some bits from my facebook profile :)
My intrestssssss :
going to gigs
meeting new people
travelling to random places
staying up late and getting up early
taking photos
cleaning - mess makes me feel horribleee
cups of tea is a defenate
shopping - when i have the money
going out for social drinks - i don't drink as much as i used to anymore
cuddles
finding new bands to listen to
movies
going for long walks
cooking
making things
I have had a big passion for horse riding and all since I was born but sold my horses..can't wait to be able to have this again.
and my top music on my itunes so far is....
a day to remember
the friday night boys
nevershoutnever!
luke pickett
mercy mercedes
manchester orcestra
between the buried and me
cash cash
the acacia strain
misery signals
four year strong
for the fallen dreams
Okay, so you kind of get the hint!
I really need to go job hunting, but i keep saying 'I will do it tomorrow' NO TAMMY, you need to do it today... (but i will honestly do it tomorrow)
Things are slightly weird at the moment in the house I live in, one of the boys is pretty much ignoring me, it smells like mouldy oranges & were not as 'family like' anymore! bad times.
I think im off to the beach this evening for a few hours, which should be good to see everyone, since I haven't seen that lot in timeee!
Oh hello Pretty Ricky, loving it - ish...its kind of annoying actually & my arms hurt!
After sun please?!
I really want to take some photooooooo's, I just did one for the 'song - photo' project I want to do over summer, the song was Dashboard Confessional - You Have Stolen My Heart...the photo aint that amazing, but oh well.
I really want to clean! bahhh, I can feel the dust, haha pathetic, but I really can :) okayyy well you are probably a bit bored of reading this now, I will make my other blogs a little more exciting ;)
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